I don’t have a Halloween costume.

“Halloween is the one night a year when girls can dress like a total slut and no other girls can say anything about it.” — Mean Girls

This is pretty much true.  Lingerie and animal ears?  Costume!  One might think that would make it easier to find a costume because just about anything can pass as costume-appropriate. 

To the contrary, however: this makes it infinitely more difficult.  There’s an unspoken rule that the Halloween costume must slutty — and so all girls are trying to balance the slut factor with their personal comfort zone with their body image problems with the fact that it’s October and cold outside.

I myself still don’t know what I’m going to be.  I have a box full of random articles of costuming that, over the years, have lost the original costumes to which they belong, such as a lonely pair of leopard ears and a plastic belt with a pair of handcuffs and a fake radio and lots of other loops that I think used to hold a billy club, a flashlight, and a gun.  None of this does a costume make, however.  I don’t even know when I’m going to have time to go get a costume — my sourcing and citing must be done before 5 p.m. and it’s slow going.  (Note to any law students contemplating journal membership: DON’T DO IT.)

Maybe I could wear all the costume pieces together … the ears and the belt and the cheerleading skirt and the piles of mardi gras beads (which were never really a costume; I just didn’t have anywhere to put them) … I could go as … law student who doesn’t have time to get a Halloween costume … only problem with that is I’m going to a party full of other law students, so that might be a pretty popular costume …

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