making friends is hard

Making friends has never been hard for me. Two of my very best friends I made in preschool, when it was as easy as one of them and I noticing that our names were similar. (“Your name is Cate? My name is Katie! We MUST be friends!”) Those friends are still two of my nearest and dearest to this day.

Making friends in college was almost as easy: I joined a sorority. I don’t want to hear anything about “buying friends” — joining a sorority just makes it easier to find good friends. Other girls have already narrowed down the pool to a group who share their interests and values, and then planned social events make it easy to find your besties amongst that group.

It still wasn’t hard for me to find friends in law school. There weren’t that many people in our class, and like kinds of people tended to gravitate together.

Here in New York, though, it’s a bit more difficult to make friends. I don’t have a job, so I don’t meet people there, and it’s hard to figure out where to meet other girl friends. I go to classes at the gym, but the students seem to change with each class, and, anyway, it’s kind of hard to strike up a conversation with someone while you’re tangled up in yoga position.

I got on the mailing list for the young alum club of my sorority, and tonight I met some of the girls for dinner. The premise sounded simple enough: I was going to meet four other girls for dinner and drinks. I didn’t realize, however, until I was there, that I wouldn’t know how to find them. Just in case you weren’t sure, looking for specific strangers in a large, crowded bar is a little difficult. I spent a good thirty minutes sitting at the bar by myself, looking around like I had gotten stood up, and checking my phone constantly in a desperate bid to look occupied. (Instead, I’m sure I just looked desperate.)

The story had a happy ending though: I found them and had a lovely dinner.


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