If you’re an email subscriber and you received notice that I had posted for the first time since March, only to find out that it was just a random picture of a lock, well, sorry. You might think I forgot how to post, but, in reality, I just don’t know how to use the WordPress app on my iPhone.
Anyway, let’s skip right past why I haven’t posted since March1 and let me amuse you with my absentmindedness. I showed up at the gym last Wednesday and couldn’t find my lock. (Yes, that same wily lock shown below that managed to finagle its own post.) After turning my gym bag inside out, I resigned myself to walking across the street to the Duane Reade to buy a new lock. This sucks, I thought. That lock had the best combination. (This is true. I wish I could tell you the combination so you could agree, but then I’d have to kill you.) How did I even lose my lock to begin with?
And then it dawned on me: I hadn’t lost my lock (because, honestly, how would I have done that? — it’s not like I take it out of my gym bag to show off at work or anything); I had left my lock. And guess what? Equinox keeps abandoned locks in a bucket in the coat check, and there it was, waiting for me.
I was so careful not to leave my lock at the gym again that day. But (and you totally see where this is going) I showed up to the gym this morning and, once again, that lock was nowhere in my bag. I looked through every crevice for it because I knew – I just knew – I wouldn’t have lost it again. I have been going to the gym for years and last week was the first time I had ever left a lock in the locker room. I just couldn’t have done it again. Alas, my certainty didn’t change the fact that my lock was gone. Shame-faced, I slunk up to the coat check and asked the lady if there were any lost locks. She handed it to me (let’s not dwell on how embarrassing it was that she remembered which lock was mine), and I promised not to leave it behind again.
Let’s see how well that goes.
1 Or I can sum it up in 6 words or less: 2012 is the worst year ever. That was easy.